Sensuality, Self Love, and Self Pleasure

Photo: Meredith Adelaide

When you hear, speak or read the word “sensuality” - what comes to mind?

S-E-X by any chance?

Sensuality and sex go hand in hand, however they are not one and the same. Sex is an intimate, physical act that can be either fuelled by or, sadly enough, in the absence of pleasure.  

Sensuality is our ability to move through this world in presence and in pleasure. Sensuality reflects how dropped in we are in our bodies. It's our capacity for giving and receiving pleasure to and from our physical bodies - and not just in the context of sex and sexuality. We can relearn to seek pleasure in all contexts of our lives - much like we did as babies and children. Sensuality can be reflected in the glow we feel when we touch our own skin and really feel it, when we eat food and truly taste it, when we dance from our hips rather than from our arms and legs. Sensuality is dropped in, high vibrational presence.

Sex is an easy way to tap in to our sensuality, yet if we don't access our sensual centre, our pelvis, our sacral chakra - it can be a thrust-bang-fest and an explosive to flatline orgasm at best. When we are disconnected from our sensuality, our sex life is a yawn. Dropping in to deep presence and deep sensuality is the recipe for toe curling, whole body shaking, make your neighbours put headphones on orgasms. We need to engage with our whole beings in our sensuality. We need to break down the walls of vulnerability and engage with our sensuality in our sexual experience.

Photo: Meredith Adelaide

An incredible way to reconnect to our sensuality and our sexual centre is through self pleasure. Pleasure is a dirty word in our society. On one occasion in the past, I was called “pleasure seeking” as in insult. We see pleasure seeking as lazy, conceited and selfish. Since when did we attach enjoying our lives with the belief that we are bad people? Allowing ourselves to receive pleasure is not selfish, it is self-serving. You cannot pour from an empty cup. In order to move through this world with grace and the ability to help and love others, we have to help and love ourselves first.

An easy way to love ourselves? Masturbation, baby. Allowing ourself to fully receive is much more of a challenge in today's world than it is to allow ourselves to fully give. We brush off help, support, hugs and love on a daily basis because we believe that we need to be a rock for everyone else more than needing to have our own rocks. Being in our bodies is particularly hard as we all tend to operate from our heads in our knowledge-obsessed world. When was the last time you really felt dropped in to your body, when was the last time you really allowed yourself to feel?

Self pleasure is the ultimate antidote. Not only to we have to vulnerably give, we have to openly receive. We have to feel it all.

Photo: Meredith Adelaide

So dim the lights, put on some sexy tunes, get between the sheets with you, yourself and your bits - and go to town. Take your sweet, luscious time. Let the pleasure build. Allow yourself to pause, breathe, feel, receive, and continue periodically. Let your pleasure heal you through reconnecting with yourself. Allowing ourselves to give and receive pleasure, no holding back, is a deep “YES” to ourselves and our bodies. Pleasure is healing. Pleasure is self love.

You are not only worthy of feeling good - you are worthy of feeling sensual pleasure.

Photo: Deborah Lee

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